


Missing Scenes From The Watford School of Magicks

by i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: "He pushed me down the stairs", Fluff, Happy Anniversary Carry on, I don't know, Is it fluff? basically, It's a description of the staircase scene that's mentioned in Carry On, Just humor me, M/M, Missing Scene, What do you even tag this as?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26865064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce/pseuds/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce
Summary: Life is never boring at The Watford School of Magicks!(Missing scenes from Baz and Simon's school experiences that were never shown in the books/things that probably happened at Watford at some point)(I don't think these chapters are in any particular order- they're basically just random scenes cut and pasted together)
Relationships: Fiona Pitch & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 13





	Missing Scenes From The Watford School of Magicks

**Baz**

Simon Snow is a brainless oaf, and I hate him. I hate his stupid face, and hair, and eyes. His eyes aren’t even special, they’re just ordinary blue. I hate them. I hate the way he eats, and talks, and talks _while_ he eats. I hate everything about him.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

I wish it were true. I wish I did hate him and his idiotic mouth, and hands, and moles. (Crowley his _moles._ They’re truly a war crime.) I wish I hated the way he can’t even form a whole sentence. I wish I hated every little horrendous detail of his face, and body, and smell.

I pretend that I do. I pretend that I hate him more than anything in the world. It’s easier this way. It’s easier than the truth.   
  


Because the truth is that I love him. I love his wild bronze curls, his blue eyes, and the constellations of moles scattered across his body.

The other truth is that I can never have him. That truth is somehow easier for me to face. Not being able to have him has never _changed_. It’s a constant, something I can reliably count on to always be true.

However, love has not dulled my senses. Snow, on the other hand, seems to lack the most important of all the senses: common sense.

He proved this (again) when he decided to attack me in between classes today.

Snow fights every fight like his life depends on it. He’s all uncoordinated brute force, swinging with wild abandon, hoping the strength of his fist will make up for his lack of precision. It won’t.

Snow socks me in the eye. I lose all of my remaining composure, and let my fist connect with his jaw. His legs come out from under him, and then I watch in mute horror as he loses his balance, tumbling down the stairs and hitting the floor below with a thud.

**Simon**

Baz pushed me down the stairs! He _pushed_ me down the _stairs_!

We’re sitting in Miss Possibelf’s office, and thank the cauldron we are, because Baz looks like he wants to do something far worse than just pushing me down the stairs.

He pushed me down the bloody stairs!

“Simon,” Miss Possibelf says solemnly. “Basilton. Do either of you feel like explaining why you’re here?”

“He pushed me down the stairs!” I say indignantly.

“He attacked me at the top of the stairs!” Baz snaps accusingly.

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

“He was plotting something!”

“I was minding my own bloody business, Snow. Why don’t you try it for a change?” He hisses at me.

He was plotting. He’s always plotting. He’s evil, a vampire, a Creature of Darkness. He’s always plotting and trying to take me down.

Well he can’t take me down if I take him down first.

Baz may have won this round, but next time victory won’t come so easily.

_Prick_.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mention in these stories.


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